Behind My Dark Brown Eyes
by Sayforever
Summary: Taking a look behind Fitz's dark brown eyes
1. Chapter 1

Behind My Dark Brown Eyes

These eyes have seen so much, they've seen pain worse than you can imagine, hunger, heartbreak and crying in the dark mine and other people's.

I met her when I was just a young kid she saved me and for that I will owe her for the rest of my life, Bianca is and always will be my hero.

I was at a party, one that I wasn't invited to go figure I'm not well liked at Degrassi and I must admit I've been less than a good guy to some people but if they knew what I've been through they might understand not that I would ever trust anyone there except for Bianca anyway or at least that's what I thought. she came out of nowhere when I was trying to just be chill and smoke.

"Are you even old enough to be smoking," she asked go figure Clare would be a goody two shoes even at a party.

"No," I said nonchalantly "I'm seventeen though so it's not like it's that big of a deal."

"Whatever you don't have to explain yourself to me I'm not a cop."

"So why did you ask?"

"I was just curious."

"Why?"

"Is it so weird that I just wanted to know something about you?"

"Yes why are you even talking to me you know your friends hate me right?"  
"Yea but I was going to ask you about that actually."

"Why?"

"You're not very talkative are you?"

"Are you spying on me for Eli or something?"

"No I can't just talk to you, Fitz it's a party people mingle."

"Not with me."

"Well I want to so what's your problem with Eli and Adam anyway?"

"Nothing why don't you just go hang out with them?"

"Fitz obviously you have some big issue other than a stupid parking spot."

"It wasn't stupid it was my brother's parking spot!"

"Wait you have a brother?"

"You don't have time and your boyfriend hates me so you should probably go."

"I have plenty of time and Eli, well he doesn't need to know."

"Wouldn't you rather be partying?"

"I've never been much of a partier."

"Clare please just…"

"Just what?"

"Give up."

"Okay I get it you don't want to tell me but if you change your mind just let me know," and she walked away and I left my secrets locked behind my dark brown eyes.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

_a\n this chapter is in Clare's pov even though this fanfic is centered around Fitz I think it's always a good idea to get both sides of every story._

Eli invited me to a party today and I wasn't going to go at first but when he told me Fitz would be there I had to go and make sure Eli wouldn't do anything stupid.

We got to the party and I didn't see Fitz anywhere I wondered if Eli was just telling me he was here because he knew I would want to come babysit him until I went outside to find Adam because I figured that he would hide outside. Fitz was outside smoking and I wondered if he was even eighteen yet when so I asked and he freaked out we started a conversation, well sort of a conversation but he was acting weird. I questioned him and he vaguely mentioned a brother who apparently had something to do with him being so territorial over that parking spot but he refused to tell me anymore which made me wonder, what is he hiding?

The next day Fitz caught up with me after school and said he wanted to talk , I looked around to make sure none of my friends were around then walked outside with him.

"Okay so you changed your mind then?"

"Yeah."

"Are you sure I mean you don't have to tell me anything that you don't want to."

"I know but I want to tell someone other than Bianca and, well I guess I kind of trust you."

"Thanks, I think."

"It wasn't a compliment it was a statement."

"Okay."

"My brother died when I was younger ."

"Oh my gosh Fitz I'm sorry."

" I wasn't like really little I mean it was a few years ago."

"Fitz that really sucks how did he die?"

"He got killed."

"What? That's crazy why?"

"I think I gave you enough information."

"Okay well whenever you want to talk I'm available here's my number," I said and gave him my number. Oh my God Eli's going to kill me if he finds out about this!

I can't believe Fitz trusts me I wonder why and poor guy no wonder he's so protective over that parking spot. I wonder what other things he hides and if there's anything worse than losing a sibling I know I would be devastated If I lost Darcy. and why on Earth does he trust Bianca so much?


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

_a/n Fitz's pov_

I couldn't believe I told Clare about Derrick I thought I'd never talk about him again I was torn apart when he died everyone I ever cared about died I was hardly able to tell Bianca but she had a crush on him so she freaked out when he was gone and I blew up at her.

I waited, I wasn't sure what was waiting for but somewhere inside of me I knew that I wanted to talk to her again I knew she had a boyfriend, Eli specifically, but I couldn't help having feelings for her and then I called her.

"Hey Fitz what's up?"

"Nothing."

"Okay so how are you?"

""Is Eli with you?"

"No."

"So your alone?"

"Yes."

"Then I want to tell you more."

"About?"

"About me."

"Okay like what?"

"My brother got killed because he was on the wrong side."

"Wrong side of what?"

"Everything. my parents when they were alive-"

"Your parents are dead?"

"Yup."

"Both of them?"

"Yes."

"Sorry anyway you were saying. About your brother?"

"Right he was killed by gang members."

"Your brother was in a gang?"

"Not exactly."

"What does that mean?"

"More of that comes later."

"Okay so what do you want to talk about then?"

"Nothing I got to go."

"Okay later Fitz and remember you can call me whenever you want."

"Bye."


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

_a\n: okay so apparently Fitz has blue eyes sooo from now on when his eyes are mentioned they will be blue._

I only tell Clare one thing a day for a few reasons: one is because I still have problems trusting anyone, for obvious reasons, and of course because I just want to keep her around as long as possible and I have plenty of stories to do this with. Clare is truly the most amazing person I've ever met except for Bianca of course and even though she was dating Eli, and believe me this didn't slip my mind for a second, I still confided in her and wanted her to feel the same way about me as I did about her. That feeling I wanted reciprocated so bad was something I had never felt before but I knew what it was, I was in love with Clare Edwards.

I wondered why Fitz had suddenly decided to trust me and I wanted to talk to him but I had just realized that I didn't have his number or know where he lived in fact other than what he was telling me, and what I'd heard from around school, I didn't really know anything about Fitz at all.

I didn't give Clare my number or anything as sort of a defense mechanism, so I had all the power, the control one of the very few things I felt like I still had the power to change and now was when _I_ decided to call her.

" Hey Clare."

"Hi Fitz what's up?"

"I, um, just-"

"Wanted to tell me more?"

" No give you my number."

"Okay."

So I did and then I met her in person, at my house.

_a\n: okay so sorry this chpt. was so short but I still have a test to take and to get to bed for school tomorrow so I PROMISE next one WILL be longer._


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

I knew the story of Clare and I talking would get out fast and sure enough the rumors spread like a wildfire and before too much time passed Eli found out.

"what do you want with Clare?"

"What are you talking about Eli?"  
"I heard about you talking to Clare and I want to know why."

"Eli I don't want anything from her she's just easy to talk to."

"And?"  
"And I trust her."  
"with?"  
"With things that can't tell anyone else except for Bianca of course."

"Why Clare."  
"Because she's a good person you of all people should know that."

"Yeah I do but I didn't know you were such a good judge of character, after all you do hang out with Bianca."

"Hey! if you have a problem with me be a man and tell me about it but leave Bianca out of this!"  
" Alright sorry."

"It's okay so look what do you say we both be men about this and stop fighting like children?"

"Yeah I guess we're even."

"Okay man," I said and we shook hands burying the hatchet once and for all.

It was time to tell Clare another story of my past and of the present. I got an e-mail yesterday from some guy saying that he might be my father and I had no idea what to do with the information so I decided to seek advice from the greatest person I knew, Clare.

_a\n Clare's P.O.V._

"So what's with you and Fitz?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well I heard that you guys have been talking a lot lately."  
"He's been telling me things about his life it's really tragic actually."

"Well why you?"

"He trust me only me and Bianca know it's so sweet that he trust me that much."

"Clare you sound like you have feelings for him or something."

"What no Eli of course not I like you," I said but in my heart I wasn't so sure.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

Fitz came to me seeking advice which means a lot to me since he hadn't even talked to Bianca about it yet.

"I got an e-mail from some guy who might be my dad."

"Oh my gosh Fitz that's awesome! do you know who he is?"

"No I can't decided if I want to meet him or not yet."

"Well Fitz it's up to you."

"But I want your advice I mean he hasn't been there for me since I was like four but I mean I thought he was dead so who knows what he was going through."

"Your right what's the worst that could happen?"  
"I don't know, but I'm going to find out."

Later that day I met up with Eli because he said he wanted to talk

"What's up Eli?"

"Look Clare I know you like Fitz."

"Eli what are you talking about?"  
"You like Fitz I'm not blind Clare."

"Eli I'm sorry."  
"Me too."

"So does this mean were breaking up?"

"I think so."  
"But Eli I still love you."

"That's cool Clare but you also like Fitz and I think it's best if you see how much," he said and kissed me on the cheek before he left.

Fitz came to me the next day to tell me how things went with his potential dad but he saw the look on my face and asked me what was wrong instead.

"It's nothing just tell me what happened with the guy. Was he your dad?"  
"Right now I care more about you, Clare just tell me what's wrong?"

"Well it's just; Eli broke up with me."

"Oh Clare I'm sorry."

"it's okay we broke up yesterday but since I told you that, tell me if he was your dad or not."

"He was."  
"Oh my God Fitz that's great," I said and looked at him, he looked back at me and then we kissed.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

"So Fitz who is it?"  
"Who is what?"  
"Your dad?"  
"This going to take some getting used to but you but you know him."

"Who is he?"  
"My dad is ."  
"What!"

"I know it's crazy right?"

"Yeah it's crazy. So how is he, like as a person?"  
"Actually he's great we talked about my mom and he said that he was really sorry for leaving me but that he thought it was the best thing for me and if he knew what happened with mom would have happened he would never have left."  
"What happened with your mom?"

"She killed herself."  
"Oh my God Fitz why?"

"She couldn't live without my dad and he faked his own death because he thought the gang stuff would stop."

"Oh so wait does that mean…?"  
"Pereno was in a gang," we both said at once and burst into laughter.

We finally caught our breath and I looked at Clare in silence she would never know how happy she made me, God I loved her and she was looked so beautiful I wished I could just put life on pause and live in that moment forever.

"Clare your beautiful."

"Thank you but where did that come from?"

"I was just looking at you and thought you deserved to know."

"Well thank you Fitz."

"You're welcome Clare."

_a\n: Bianca's P.O.V. flashback_

It was June 26th, the most devastating event of my life. I went over to Fitz's house to hang out with him and his older brother who I admit I had a crush on. Fitz lived with his brother I knocked and when no one answered I just walked in and went straight to his room. when I saw him I knew right away that something was wrong he was crying. At this point I had known Fitz for three years and it did _not _ seem like he was the type to cry so I knew something was bad.

"Fitz Oh my God what's wrong?"  
"Bianca, didn't the fact that I didn't open the door tell you that I didn't want to talk?"

"Fine. Where's Derrick?"

"Bianca shut up!"  
"Oh so your mad at him. why?"  
"I'm not mad at him he freaking died."  
"What," I said and started to cry.  
"Why the hell are your crying he was my fucking brother! you had a stupid crush on him you have _no _reason to be upset!"  
"It wasn't just a crush I loved him!"  
"You did not your fucking thirteen!"  
"I matured really fast."  
"I don't give a damn just get out!"

"Fine whatever," I said and ran off crying.

And from that day on I realized that pushing people away when he needed them the was the defense mechanism Fitz set up to protect himself and since today was the three year aniversery of Derrick's death I decided to spend it with him.

_a\n okay so a couple last notes thank you everyone who reviewed so far it means a lot to me **and **_sorry if I spelled pereno's name wrong.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

I walked to Fitz's house and just barged in normally I would knock but since it was derrick's anniversary I barged in out of worry. and when I did I caught him making out with some chick.

"Fitz talk now."

"Okay Bianca hold on," he said to the person I couldn't tell who she was but she nodded in agreement while Fitz came to talk to me.

"Hey Bianca."

"Who's she?"

"Why does it matter?"

"I was just coming over to spend Derrick's anniversary with you but I see you have company," I said and started to walk away.

"Bianca wait are you actually mad at me for moving on with my life?"  
"Well since your moving on without me? Yes I am."

"I thought you would be happy for me."  
"Fitz you're an idiot," I snapped.  
"Why?"

"Because - because I'm in love with you that's why!"

"Your what?"

"Never mind," I said and walked away even though Fitz kept calling me back.

"What was that about," Clare asked me when I got back from talking to Bianca.

"She- she said she's in love with me."

"Bianca?"  
"Yeah she said she came over to spend time with me for Derrick's anniversary and that she loved me."  
"Fitz you've know her for how long?"

"Since I was ten."

"And you had no idea she was in love with you?"

"No because she liked my brother."

"And you assumed what? that she would never love again after he died or something?"

"Well no I just I didn't think she would fall in love with me."

"Well you were his brother so you are at least _somewhat _like him and naturally you would make a perfect replacement."

"I don't think she wanted a replacement I think it must have just happened."

"Well I am going to find out."

"Clare what does that mean?"

"Oh you'll see!"

"Hey Bianca!"

"What," she said and turned around fast.

"I need to talk to you."

"What about my life concerns you exactly?"  
"The part with Fitz in it."  
"How exactly do Fitz and I concern you?"

"Because Fitz is my boyfriend!"

"_Your_ boyfriend? Oh hell no!"

"Yeah so as Fitz's girlfriend I want to know what is up with you and him we've been friends since we were kids and anything else is _none _of your business."  
"Really because Fitz seems to think that it is he's told me a lot."  
"Well I don't care what he's told you!"

"Really? Well I know that you're in love with him."

"He told you that?"

"Yup and he's told me a lot about his past _and _that he found his father."  
"What? His dad is dead."

" Nope but all of this is none of _your_ business because Fitz is _my _boyfriend."

And with that she shoved me into a locker and I got into my first fight.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

"Clare and Bianca office now," screamed Pereno who was sent to break up our fight. "What happened here Clare I would not expect this from you," Mr. Simpson said starting a seemingly endless lecture and when it finally ended he gave Bianca a chance to explain. "She was getting' in my business." "It's my business too." "Please you hardly know him." "He's mine Bianca get over it." "Who," Mr. Simpson asked hopelessly confused. "No I won't," she said and we continued to fight ignoring Simpson's question. "Look I know you like him but you _have _o back off it's pathetic Bianca and I'm telling you this as a friend." "You will _never _be my friend you hear me _never_!" "Oh but don't you think you should get to know Fitz's _girlfriend_?" "SHUT UP," she yelled and lunged at me but Mr. Simpson intervened. "Okay I think I see the problem here."  
"Yeah she _stole _my boyfriend." "Please Bianca he was never your boyfriend you just _wish_ he was admit it your jealous." "You know what Clare yeah I am, Fitz was the _one _person who cared about me and _you _took him away!" "I didn't take him _he_ came to _me_." "Shut up you don't know what you're talking about."  
"Enough girls," Simpson said breaking up part two of our fight. "Now I think I have enough information detention both of you." "What? I _cannot _get detention." "Why afraid of your perfect rep being ruined well I got news for you Fitz is doin gthat fore you so give him up." "Never."  
"_That _ sounds like a challenge Clare." "Well it is so bring it on," I said and got on my tiptoes to look her in the eyes.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 9 pt. 2**

_a\n I realized chapter 9 was way too short so here's part two_

I wonder if she realized that fighting Bianca for me was the dumbest thing she could ever do but also it was the sweetest.

"You do realize that Bianca cloud tear you apart right?"

"Yeah but-"

"I didn't say it wasn't sweet," I said and kissed her on the cheek.

"Fitz I thought sweet was the last word I would ever hear you say."

"Really? well what about the 'L word' then?"

"What 'L word?"

"Clare come on," I said and when she was still clueless I said it "Love Clare."

"Oh yeah."

"Clare oh my God why are you talking to him," asked Alli coming out of nowhere.

"_He_ has a name you know," I interrupted, "and she's talking to me because I'm boyfriend."

"What Clare you left Eli for _Fitz_?"

"Yeah and?"  
"Can we talk, without Fitz?"  
"Sure be right back Fitz."  
"Hey Clare?"  
"What?"  
"Could you do me a favor?"  
"What babe."  
"Call me Marcus?"

" But you don't let anyone call you by your first name."  
"Yeah but you're not just anyone."


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 10**

"So wait your saying _Fitz _is the reason you and Eli broke up?"Alli asked with possibly the most confused look I have ever seen. we decided to have a sleepover at my house since we haven't talked much lately.  
"I guess."  
"You know you can do better Clare everyone knows you can even Fitz."  
"No I love him Alli and I don't care if you like him at least give him a chance for me though?"

"Give _Fitz _a chance? Why should I the guy's a jerk!"  
"As far as you know but you don't know anything about him."  
"Well Clare when you get enough common sense to know you're are making thee biggest mistake of your life, call me," she said and stormed out with her stuff "I'm going home."

_a\n Alli's pov _

I don't understand how Clare could have changed so much she was my best friend but now I feel like I don't even know her. Why would she dump a guy like Eli for Fitz? and I guess a part of me is jealous not of her and Fitz or even of her and Eli it's just that _I _used to be the hot one with all the boys and Clare was little miss private school purity girl and now she's the hot one and I'm just Alli but I'm sure I can change that.

_a\n Fitz's pov  
_

My mind was racing I never cared so much about anything in my life. I tried messing with my lighter to keep myself busy but it didn't work. so instead I decided to go to Clare's even though it was now ten o' clock probably _way _past the time Care's parents would let any guy over so my original plan was to go through the window but for some unknown reason I knocked on the door.

a\n _I am aware that this chapter is all over the place and I'm sorry but there should be lot's of interesting material? I hope? review let me know what you think please_


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

Fitz saying he loved me took my breath away I couldn't believe I got him to open up so much I really think that Fitz is the one and I only wish Alli could be happy for me and accept him. wait I think I know how to make her do _just _that; I have to set her up with someone and I know just the guy.

"Pleeeeease Alli I whined you _need _to date a nice guy for once at least _think _about it."

"Why do you care who I'm with? We're not friends anymore remember?"  
"Yeah but I know you well enough to know that you just won't accept Fitz because you don't have anyone and this guy is so perfect Alli."  
"Alright tell me who he is and I'll consider it."  
"Thank you thank you thank you!"  
"Hey I still haven't said yes yet."

"Oh right well then how's about a blind date I mean come on Alli what have you got to lose?"

"Fine."

I set Alli's blind date up for Saturday as a secret double with Fitz and I and it was finally the day and Spinner was there right on time.

"You set me up with Spinner?"  
"Yeah he's a good guy what's the problem?"

"I don't know maybe that he's _married_!"  
"No he's not him and Emma called it off remember?"  
"Alright fine I guess I could give him a shot."  
"Oh did I forget to mention Fitz and I are staying," I asked but Alli just looked spaced out and oh no was In love with someone other than her date.


	13. Chapter 13

A\N: so this chapter is in Ali's P.O.V enjoy! sorry it's so short :(

"So let me get this straight, you set me up with _Spinner and you and Fitz are staying?"  
_"Yeah and what's so bad about Spinner?"  
" Nothing but clare I'm in _love _with someone else."  
"Oh my gosh Ali why didn't you tell me so i could set you up with him?"  
"Beacuse then a duble date would be impossible."  
"What?"

"Clare sweetie she's trying to say that she's in love with me," Fitz said as he came up behind me and put his arm around my shoulder.

"But Ali I thought you hated him."  
"I thought so too but clare when I saw how amazing he really was I fell in love with him."

"Oh my Gosh Ali I am so sorry I had no idea."  
"Wait so your not mad?"  
"No! Of course not! You can't help who you fall in love with, plus your no threat to mine and Fitz's love."

Oh great that's just what I wanted to hear damn why couldn't I have just settled for Spinner and kept my big mouth shut?


End file.
